Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success

Adam Grant introduces the concept of “preferences for reciprocity,” a term he cites from a paper authored by Edward W. Miles, John D. Hatfield, and Richard C. Huseman. Preferences for reciprocity describe individuals’ preferences for giving and taking within relationships.

He describes three different categories of people and their respective reciprocity styles: takers, givers, and matchers. Takers are individuals who primarily focus on what they can get from others and who are often self-serving in their interactions. Givers, on the other hand, prioritize giving and helping others without expecting anything in return. Lastly, matchers strive for fairness and equal exchanges in their interactions.

Grant claims that people tend to act like givers in close relationships, while they tend to act like matchers at work. He acknowledges that one’s reciprocity style can change in different contexts but that most people have a primary style.

He then explores the success of each reciprocity style in the workplace. Givers inhabit both the top and bottom of the ladder when it comes to success in their fields. In studies of engineers, salespeople, and medical students, givers were both the most and the least productive individuals, with takers and matchers landing in the middle.