I Beat the Odds: From Homelessness, to The Blind Side, and Beyond

“It is my goal with this book not only to tell my story in my own words, but to encourage anyone who is a part of the system or who wants to be a part of helping children out of it. Not only will the book give tips and suggestions for reaching out to kids who need help, but will also include a chapter that lists a number of local and national groups determined to provide a better chance for kids like me, who want so badly just to have a shot at a normal life.

And just what are our odds at a normal life, after a childhood shuffled between an awful family life and the foster care system? Not too great. Only about one-third of children eligible for adoption in the foster care system ever end up with parents or permanent legal guardians, and the majority of those are children under the age of eight. After that, the chances of being adopted are lower than remaining in the foster system, and continue to drop with each birthday. About 25,000 kids age out of the system each year. They turn eighteen and suddenly they are on their own, whether they have graduated high school or have a place to live or not.”

This quote comprises Michael Oher’s two goals in writing his book. On one hand, he wishes to voice his own story. Books by Michael Lewis and the Tuohys, as well as a movie, had their own takes on his story—and Oher wants to write it as only he knows it. He also wants to correct the parts of his story that were depicted incorrectly in previous works. On the other hand, he wants to provide hope and encouragement to children like him and adults who would help them. This quote includes foster children-related statistics, calling attention to their plight as is one of the book’s themes.

“If it didn’t happen while you were living in the neighborhood, it didn’t happen.

History didn’t matter. The rest of the world didn’t matter. All that mattered was here and now, making it to the next temporary job or the next government check. Making it to the next day.

I sometimes wonder if that isn’t what made me so different from the people around me. As you’ll learn, my sights were set on the future from the time I was seven, and then even more as I became a teenager. Instead of getting caught up in what was right in front of me, I always seemed to have my eyes on what was ahead. Some people, if they got a little money saved up, would go and spend it on a fancy purse or flashy jewelry or brand-name clothes. No one seemed worried about saving for a rainy day or starting a college fund. It was as if the future just didn’t exist for them. But it did for me. I knew that I wanted a life outside of the ’hood and I knew that the only way I could get it would be to go after it on my own.”

Oher notes that personal responsibility is part of his success story—and is another of the book’s themes. Many people helped Oher, but his own drive and planning for the future were indispensable. He describes himself as ambitious and level-headed. Too many people in his situation lived for the here and now, but he always thought about the future and the life he wanted.

“The boys in the neighborhood weren’t the only ones who didn’t want to play by the rules, though. My mother was pretty good at finding trouble, too. Like I said, she couldn’t seem to remember to pay our bills, so sometimes we didn’t have power or water wherever we were living. She didn’t always pay rent, either, so we got evicted a lot, too. But it never seemed like it was that big of a deal, and she definitely never seemed embarrassed by it. For us, it was just a way of life.

It seemed there was always a reason we had to move somewhere else, always a new school where I had to try to figure out where they were in their studies. Nothing ever seemed to change, no matter where we went. It was just a big circle for my brothers and me. All in all, it was a pretty miserable way of living, feeling like you could never really relax anywhere just knowing it was home or even just feeling safe and cared for. But at least we were miserable together.”

Oher summarizes his family life. His mother’s addiction and the size of their family (12 children) resulted in a frequent turmoil that left resources stretched thin. This lack of stability had consequences, such as the children having to leave friends, having difficulty forming new relationships, and suffering gaps in education with each change in school.