Reviving Ophelia

Pipher opens with an anecdote about her relationship with her mother. She describes it as close but strained during Pipher’s adolescence. Pipher was inspired to write Reviving Ophelia after the death of her mother—she wanted to give mothers and daughters help to rebuild the bonds they once had. In the 1990s and today, there is a double standard; mothers seem to be criticized regardless of their parenting approach. On top of this, adolescent girls are expected to distance themselves from and even reject their mothers. Girls are most like their mothers, and to be taught to dislike or reject one’s mother is to reject oneself. This conflict is created by cultural expectations of independence, which clash with a mother and daughter’s inner need to be close to one another.

What follows are anecdotes relating three mother-daughter relationships in the 1990s. Jessica and her mother Brenda “were a study in contrasts” (139). Brenda was bubbly and open, while Jessica was closed off and refusing to attend school. Jessica’s aim was to be as much the opposite of her mother as possible but simultaneously remained dependent and close with her. Through an interest in a modeling career and Pipher’s encouragement, Jessica grew into herself and gained the confidence she needed to become independent while remaining close with her mother.