Tastes Like War: A Memoir

During Cho’s childhood, Koonja served her double portions of food, using the mantra “one time, no love” to reinforce the idea that one portion would express her love for them insufficiently (217). Being able to feed others abundantly marked Koonja’s progress from hunger in war-torn Korea. It was also important for Cho’s father, who grew up during the Depression with memories of seeing a family sacrifice their own pet for food.

While on her first few visits home from college, Koonja greeted Cho with snacks in the car, Koonja soon stops coming to pick her up. Koonja subsisted on kimchi and rice and the occasional fast food. Cho realized that Koonja’s unwillingness to cook and engage with food indicated that the mother of her childhood was not going to return.

After her second suicide attempt, Cho’s mother began seeing a Korean immigrant therapist called Dr. Jeon. Although Koonja trusted this woman and saw her as a friend, problems manifested when Koonja’s husband accompanied her to the sessions. Cho’s father started to see Dr. Jeon privately and established a personal, potentially sexual relationship with her. While Cho never brought up the affair with Koonja, she was certain that it damaged both Koonja’s trust in mental health professionals and her potential for recovery.