The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

Some things in life happen no matter what strategies we devise to prevent them from happening. These include the fact that one can’t always be right about everything—and that suffering and death are inevitable. The more readily one accepts these facts, the better off one will be in the long run. Manson sees avoidance of, or resistance to, universal truths as a poor strategy for experiencing happiness and a means of self-sabotage. Recognizing that certain things in life will always be outside our control requires setting aside one’s ego and embracing some uncertainty while identifying what one can control. This process involves a kind of letting go, but it doesn’t necessarily mean relinquishing authority over our lives. In Manson’s view, a stifling of the ego in favor of accepting that which one can’t control actually empowers one to have more authority over one’s life, not less.

In addition, Manson encourages us to look at the facts of life differently: “If suffering is inevitable, if our problems in life are unavoidable, then the question we should be asking is not ‘how do I stop suffering?’ but ‘why am I suffering—for what purpose?’” (68). Reframing the problem of suffering in this way rests on the initial acceptance that it’s inevitable, and to make acceptance easier, Manson asks us to change how we perceive suffering.