The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love

In this chapter, hooks outlines the ways that patriarchal societies demean and damage young boys. Gender roles are enforced and imposed as early as infancy; male babies are allowed to cry louder and more often. Parents also pressure their sons to suppress their emotions. hooks suggests that healing the culture and eliminating discrimination and violence against women mean one must also explore the ways that patriarchal society affects boys. Too often those who understand that young boys need healthy ways to recognize and process their emotions are unwilling to call patriarchal values by their name.

hooks points to anti-male feminist rhetoric as part of the problem. By labeling men as the enemy, this brand of feminism leaves no room to discuss a different approach to masculinity and maleness. In fact, she critiques contemporary feminism’s failure to offer alternative solutions for raising male children outside patriarchal values. Pressure from other male children contributes to suppressing any alternative choices. Male children who are raised to feel connected to their emotional selves soon learn that they must suppress that part of themselves at school. Conforming behaviors include acting out, being tough, and “dominating females” (42).