Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man

Chapter 12 opens with a question about how best to parent interracial children, followed by a second question about the sense of betrayal some Black men feel when Black women date outside their race. Marriage between Black and White people was officially outlawed across the country in 1883, following Pace v. Alabama. Anti-miscegenation laws remained in place until a 1964 Supreme Court ruling, which overturned a Virginia court ruling rejecting the marriage of an interracial couple in Florida. The verdict paved the way for a 1967 Supreme Court ruling that deemed anti-miscegenation laws unconstitutional and ended all race-based legal restrictions on marriage in the US. Americans could now legally build families across racial lines.

In addition to marriage, adoption presents an important avenue for creating interracial families.

Interracial families often face questions and hostility from inside and outside their racial groups, including from family members. Similarly, some people construe interracial relationships as a value judgment against their race. Acho recommends examining what might be fueling these feelings, such as bias, history, and the opinions of loved ones. White people should not fetishize Black people. In addition, they should educate themselves on their partners’ and children’s culture. Learning about the history of interracial couples in the US (starting with Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemings) and researching transracial adoption is key to understanding interracial families.