Wink

“It would have been helpful if Dr. Sheffler had given me a chart, from one to ten, circled the six and said, This right here is how much you should freak out at this point.”

Ross has just learned about the tumor above his eye. The news is hard for him to process; he wants to know how he should react because he doesn’t know what’s appropriate in this situation. He expresses his bewilderment sarcastically, which is his best defense against losing control over how he expresses his emotions.

“I actually have a sketchbook where I do most of my Batpig comics. Or just drawings of random stuff. And some more-involved sketching—of real things. Life drawing, as my mom called it—but I don’t show those to ANYBODY. Not even Abby. Or my dad.”

Ross conveys this information in response to Sarah’s reference to his drawings in elementary school. His information reveals relevant facts about himself: He’s artistic, he’s hypercritical of his imperfect work, and he anticipates humiliation if he shares his work with anyone. These facts directly relate to two major themes: Authentic Self-Expression Is Liberating and Connection and Communication Are Essential to Survival. Ross has not yet grasped either of these lessons.

“As my dad and Linda started asking about things like prognosis and outlook and treatment, my balloon head kept slowly rising toward the fluorescent light above me. It was the weirdest feeling—like I was watching from above while someone else heard all about how dangerous this tumor was.”

The shock of receiving his diagnosis is so overwhelming that Ross’s mind protects itself through detachment. He describes the feeling figuratively, likening his head to a balloon.